90's Movies

The past few days I came down with a stomach bug, leaving me bed-ridden for two days. In between naps, I flipped the T.V. on to occupy my mind. I happened upon the movie Clueless first. The fashion, the lingo, and the music in that movie are 100 percent 90s- it could be a documentary. Later, during my battle with the bug, I came across a few episodes of Full House. What a show. Total 90's classic sitcom. You have Bob Saget, (also the host of America's Funniest Home Videos during my childhood) as the dad, Uncle Jessie (Jason Stamos), (swoon), and of course the kids- DJ, Steph, and Michelle (Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen). Just an all- American family going through life's joys and disappointments together. The hairstyles- full volume, the outfits- overalls for boys and girls. It really is an entertaining show with great characters. The next 90's flashback I had was during my recovery. I came across the last fifteen minutes of the movie She's All That. It had everything- 90's prom magic, Freddie Prince Jr., and Usher as D.J. The choreographed line dance was actually really creative and original. Of course Freddie Prince Jr. saved the day in the end and got the artsy, down- to- earth, natural beauty for his girl. Happy endings for all.

My memories of the 90's are from a ten and under point of view. The teenage trends and culture would trickle down to us kids from our older- siblings and we would try our best to pull- off the hairstyles and fashions. Needless to say, they didn't always fit. The only thing more awkward then a 90's teen trying to pull off white frosty lipstick and butterfly clips, is a 90's 10 year old trying trying to pull it off. Looking like a Spice Girl when you are pre- braces and your mom still does your hair is a big challenge. It's funny how at that age you look up to these beautiful teenage stars and celebrities and wait for the day when you might look like them, but when that time comes, the teenage trends have rapidly turned into something totally different, but equally embarrassing as you look back at your high school pictures now.

I enjoy having my naive perspective of the 90's as a pre-teen wannabe. Being so young but still aware of "what was happenin'" - or so I thought. Watching those shows and movies make me laugh but they still have some meaning. They are not just corny and out-dated. I think they make people smile and remember. At least they made me.

Love always,
90's child- Cassie

Understanding Perspectives

I find it fascinating what other's see. It really is so interesting to find out what other people take out of a situation. A family member of mine went to the doctor the other day and when asked his opinion of the man he simply said- "He was very clean. Shiny." This made the rest of the family laugh because most of us would have picked adjectives that were specific to his abilities as a doctor, or to how this doctor made us feel as his patient. Knowing this family member pretty well, makes it easier to understand his perspective. Then, there is the classic example of the car accident witnesses. A group of people witness the same event, but each have different and sometimes conflicting statements. The reasons for the differences are countless. Everyone sees a situation their way, the way their brain interprets it based on their cognitive abilities, and emotional responses.

 Understanding other people's point of view is a universal challenge. I'd say the lack of understanding leads to most conflicts throughout the world. There is "right and wrong" when it comes to some disputes but most situations go a lot deeper. It's necessary to take into consideration some background to an adversary's point of view in order to get to the root of the argument. It takes some work to peel back what's being said and discover what's not being said. It is our own defenses that make it difficult for this important step. We react to what is given to us: what we hear, and what we physically see. 

It can be so simple, and so relieving when two people come to an understanding. When they find a common relation to one another. It could be something so small but nevertheless, it brings peace. When this happens it's like seeing that person for the first time. It's relieving to both sides because the negative emotions involved with the dispute can then be let go of. 

We can never really walk in another person's shoes- we will not have the same exact experience, but it is a good practice to look at things a different way. It promotes progress. It makes moving forward so much easier. A positive perspective is always best, in my opinion. Best for moving forward and best for   overall well-being. It's true that the more positive feelings we put behind something, the better it works out. Intention really is everything, and believing in something is powerful. Before we can even form an opinion, we have to have a ground. This ground makes everything more clear- our beliefs, our opinions, our perspective, and our ability to understand others. The truth is everyone is born with a root and it is this root that connects us to who we are and to each other. 

The Bean Bag Chair

I love children. I love to hear what children think is important, what they like about themselves, what they enjoy, and how they like to spend their time. I like to watch them explain what they have learned in school, I like when they share their feelings, and I like watching them play with each other. The growth of a child is watched and supervised more carefully than the growth of an adult and therefore, it seems that there is a lot of pressure to learn and grow. In reality- life is packed with growing. Lessons get tougher and tests get more frequent the more a person grows. One thing I like about growing is being able to laugh at moments of growth or change that seemed like a big deal at the time. This particular moment that I am about to share was not necessarily a pivotal, life-changing lesson but somehow it cuts to the core of a funny facet of my growing self.

I was invited to a boy girl, basement, birthday party in 4th grade. I was new that year- just switched from a private elementary school to the public school down the street. It was well into the school year, giving me time to establish a group of friends. In grade school, friendships come and go quickly, but somehow I was invited to the most popular girls in school birthday party. They were twins,  and they were smart, and blonde. They had plenty of Limited Too outfits and new, dark grey and neon pink, Nike gym shoes. (This is an important detail because at the time, I was too picky and stubborn to choose from the cheaper tennis shoes and chose to just take a black sharpie to my light-up, white and navy blue tennis shoes.)

So I am new, but not new enough to be interesting, and mysterious anymore, just still new -but invited. The party was loud, and silly, as most ten year olds are. There was laughing and teasing and fun being had by all. I am thinking now, at this point, in my ten year old mind, I need to loosen up. I need to get into the party and get on everyone's level. I am mostly watching the party at this point and feeling the energy- level start to really pick up. In my memory of this occasion, the room is in slow motion as kids are running and yelling around me. In my attempt to loosen up I smile and pick up a bean bag chair, and in one swift motion, I hurl it across the room in celebration. My smile quickly turns to a face of horror, as immediately the room comes back to real time, and the energy- level takes a dive. I have knocked over at least two, 2-liter soda bottles, and a pizza box, in one swift motion. And in one swift motion as well, the mom (also my assistant lacrosse coach) has come down to check on the party. In a disappointed and harsh tone, she yells to all of us that we all need to calm down. Aggravated, and shaking her head she cleans up the mess and pulls her girls aside to help her and to express her distaste. My one attempt, my big courageous moment of coming out of my shell, had led to total destruction and embarrassment. I don't know if anyone saw that I was the one who threw the bean bag chair. I chose to believe that everyone was just having too much fun to notice, instead of the possibility that nobody knew what to say or how to react to my sudden, rambunctious act.

This moment stayed buried for a long time. Much too shameful, shocking, and embarrassing to share with others. It wasn't until recently that this memory crept back up and caused such painful, chocking, gut-busting laughter as I attempted to tell my family. Remembering my ten year old self and the feelings that went along with this circumstance made me laugh so hard. My embarrassment and shame is now turned to acceptance and pride. I really am proud of my ten year old self.  I didn't need to learn a big lesson, or to have changed my life dramatically to be proud, I am just proud of how I lived that moment and how I got over it by shaking my head and cringing as if I was my own parent, and then moving on with daily elementary school life, which brought countless more embarrassing moments.  I guess one of the reasons why I love hearing what kids have to say, what they think about, and what they experience is that I relate to them and understand them. Even though I am considered an adult, I have all my twenty- three years living inside me still.

Love always,
Cassie